Saturday, 12 February 2011

Are things really that different?

So last week I did something I'm really not proud of, I got involved in a Facebook row with someone. As you all know my lovely Mr P is a bit poorly with a spot of cancer at the moment. But throughout all his treatment, the drugs, the travelling and just the shock of his diagnosis he has remained the same upbeat and positive Mr P throughout. Even when he feels at his weakest he still smiles and says "I know it won't last forever". He is an utter inspiration. I say this not to garner sympathy or show off just saying it how it is.

Over the weekend he used this inspiring spirit to try and boost up an acquaintance of ours who it appears is going through a bad patch unable to find work. His advice was no matter how bad things get you can get through it if you keep a positive mental attitude. Sound advice I'm sure you would agree. Unfortunately this acquaintance did not see this and carried on with the feeling sorry for themselves with a "poor me" attitude.

I did not get involved, while Mr P was aiming to show that even in his position being positive about the future is the key to changing your life I did not know this person well enough to want to comment.

However on Monday this same person updated their status to something that rankled me so much, especially after everything Mr P had tried to show her, after he took the time to explain and try and help that I just saw red. Do I regret what I wrote? No I stand by criticising someone for being lazy (this person has only worked part time in the two years I have known them and despite the best efforts of other people trying to help them secure work in the past at no point bothered enough to actually secure a full time job. Hence being in a spot of bother now needing assistance from the DSS) I stand by saying why not try doing some volunteer work or educating themselves with all that free time they have.

And from here it cascaded into myself being criticised for mentioning that I used to work full time and have a second additional part time and weekend job - this was because I needed the money to pay rent etc.

This whole episode I have found distasteful for several reasons,

1 - I'm angry at myself for letting myself get upset about someone's lifestyle choice. Just because I believe in working hard and being positive I can't make everyone follow that ethic and nor should I try in certain cases.

2 - I find it incredible that someone can not find a job for 2 years in our lovely little town. A tourist destination during the summer with expanding businesses I appreciate that while not all jobs are appealing when you need work things have to be done I've worked in pubs, packed cheese in a factory, glued strange silver things onto circuit boards, potato and strawberry picked and been a cleaner over the years. I see this as testament to being a hard worker and not something to be denigrated by a generation who see hard work and paying your dues as beneath them. I also know of several other people who over the past 6 months have secured work from office to post graduate to part time cleaning. So work is out there.

3 - I find it shocking as well that so many people see handouts from the state as just one of those things you do instead of working. I simply don't understand that. While I think our welfare system is amazing and for people truly in need they should absolutely be able to get access to immediate help. I also believe that nobody should expect to be given money instead of working to provide for their own future.

If you need any more justification a Quote came back saying "at least I haven't had a baby to get a flat" I rest my case.



  1. Loulou unfortunately there are many people out there who don't and won't share your work ethic.I have heard people say things like I wont get out of bed for less than x number of pounds per hour (mind you they are quoting much more than I earn although I have dedicated so many years to hard study and graft). And this is not just about academia, people have different skills, but my brother in law who owns a factory regularly complains that people are work shy and he is not some horrible task master (he is actually very generous and looks out for his employees if they are sick or have unwell family members). I think there is something wrong with people's expectations now. I was brought up to work hard for what I wanted. Not many people subscribe to that; there is way too much entitlement! I don't mind earning less and having a capped salary as part of the NHS but I am afraid that it will sink due to the fact that people are abusing the system! Spend a friday or saturday night in A&E and you will see for yourself what I am talking about.
    Anyways don't waste any more of your time on this person who clearly doesnt appreciate MrP's advice. Try to ignore them and you can always just delete them from facebook so you wont see anything that could potentially upset you. Tell Mr P hello for me. I enjoyed his last blog post.

  2. Thank you CP I was starting to think I'd gone mad and maybe it was just me who thinks hard work and achievement is worth all the trouble.

    Think it was just a bad week - normal chirpy service has resumed...

    And yes I deleted her from Facebook immediately after the row, so she can be all negative on her own